Today is the first anniversary of the death of Grace, Mrs. Secular Jew’s mother. It will be quiet on the blog until next week.
Grace’s eldest son (Mrs. SJ’s brother) predeceased Grace. He grew orchids, and Grace was partial to them as well. And so, too, is Mrs. SJ. Grace’s first yahrzeit candle is stationed on the windowsill in our kitchen between two orchids, one of them having belonged to Grace.
Mrs. SJ misses her mother. I miss Grace, too, who for as long as I knew her lived as big as she could for as long as she could, and was almost always overflowing with love and good humor. Grace’s children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren miss her, too.
Also, she loved my imitation of Bill Clinton’s voice.
We miss her.
We were very fortunate to have been able to move both of Mrs. SJ’s parents–already in their mid-80s–up to Indianapolis in April of 2013. We did that to help take care of them, and it added dimension to our lives. It especially added dimension to Secular Jew, Jr.’s life. We live so far from almost all of our family members on both sides, and he benefited from extra love in his life.
But we didn’t know the extent of either of Mrs. SJ’s parent’s health problems.
This has been a difficult first year for Mrs. SJ. We didn’t know much about Mrs. SJ’s father’s needs, because Grace was able to protect us from it, despite her declining health. Mrs. SJ is tough; that’s all I’m going to say about that.
Please, have open and candid discussions about your family’s health. Life is tough enough, and making decisions for those closest to you is tougher still at times. You shouldn’t have to be surprised by the toughness if you can be prepared.
For Mrs. SJ: I’m sorry I couldn’t come up with this last night when you lit the candle. I’m working on it.
For everyone else: Grief doesn’t go away with time. Hold close those whom you love. Shabbat Shalom.